Weapon of Choice: Part One

Woo! Last match-ups before the quarter and semi finals today! Many congratulations to yesterday’s advancers, C.F. Waller and Afsaneh Khetrapal — and sorry the post went up so late yesterday! I thought I’d scheduled it for the right time before work, but my befuddled, sleepy brain tried to jump into the future. Confused? It’s okay. I was too.

Just three more days before the winner of the Chosen Badge will go down in flash fiction history with a snazzy red graphic to tattoo on his or her forehead!

But first…two more match-ups today before tomorrow’s quarterfinals!

Match Eleven

J.B. Lacaden, “Hanging” versus Lyra Selene, “The Seeds of the Earth”

If you slept through the last round, their fabulous entries await HERE.

Match 12

Matt Sloan, “Final Thoughts” versus Steven Paul Watson, “Night in Vegas”

If you slept through the last round, these fabulous entries await HERE.

Like this, but greased.

Weapon of Choice

One week into the Zombie Apocalypse Preparation Fitness Programme, and I am excited to report my progress.

In the last week I have: run the first continuous mile I’ve attempted since high school; bumped up my running to TWO continuous miles with no walking in between; ran a mile in 9:48; ran two miles straight in 20:52; ran a total of 2.75 miles today with only a .25 mile walking break at the two mile mark — which I completed on a 3% incline.

If you’d asked me a few months ago while I was taking a drink of Crystal Light, I would have sprayed dark cherry drink all over your face at the idea of me, an asthmatic with shin splints, running without being under severe duress.

Here’s the rest of my stats:

Weight: 176.8 (down 2.2 lbs!)
BMI: 25.3 (down .4!)

As for the rest, I’ve been doing a lot of strength training as well.

That’s one week of success with ZAP — now let’s get to the goods.


Because they’re fun. And awesome.

My first archery lesson. I shot the target. And not my brother-in-law’s dogs. Or my brother-in-law.

Weapon Utilization Skills Part One: Know Thy Weapons

If you’re going to survive a zombie apocalypse — and not only that, but thrive — you’re going to need to be well-versed in many forms of weaponry. Unlike Gears of War or Dragon Age where you just press a button and kill the Locust/Darkspawn hordes, real weapons take time, effort, and a lot of discipline to become competent, let alone to master.

While you should definitely stick to something you feel comfortable using, it’ll be good to branch out into others so that if you’re say, fleeing the zombie horde in the middle of Atlanta and come across a .22, you’ll know how to shoot a .22 if  you need to. And if the sporting goods gods (Artemis?) drops a compound bow in your lap, it’d be good to at least be able to shoot like an Olympian from a close range. (I won’t tell if you ignore the Olympic distance of 70 meters.)

We’ll start our weapon training by learning a few simple rules about weapons and zombies.

ZAP Weapons: Rule One

Your weapon is only as good as its ammo.

Sure, guns seem great on the surface. But how many bullets of varying calibers do you really have laying around the house? If you’re anything like me, um, none. Even if you hail from the land of Grandpa’s Arsenal, bullets aren’t that easy to manufacture. When you’re out, your gun is reduced to a rather ineffective short range club.

Good luck with that.

Bows and crossbows have the advantage of reusable ammunition — if you can retrieve it. And if you have a traditional bow and care to learn, you can make your own arrows. People did that for centuries. My brother-in-law knows how. I’m glad I have a mentor so useful in case of zombie apocalypse.

Spouse and I with my brother-in-law James on my wedding day. James is a stellar hunter, a master archer, and can kick some arse in martial arts. Little did he know that he would be enlisted in the army of ZAP Warriors…

ZAP Weapons: Rule Two

Noise matters.

This is another downfall of guns. They tend to get noisy. And you won’t have the luxury of picking and choosing once all the looters have ransacked all the gun shops and left you to play with a beebee gun and a water pistol.

I think we can assume zombies will have some level of sound recognition and that loud noises will attract them. So unless you’re in a heavily guarded fortress complete with flammable moat and you’re trying to lure them into your pool of death, blasting your eardrums out with shotgun fire is mostly just going to accomplish bringing more zombies your way.

Quiet is better. Legolas that shit. I’ll learn to use guns in case of emergency, but my first choices are going to be swords and bows.

ZAP Weapons Rule Three

If you can’t handle it, don’t use it.

Guns have kick. Bows have draw weight. Swords have just plain weight. If you’re five foot nothing and can’t pull a bowstring with a 60 pound draw weight, you might want to consider another form of attack. The same thing goes if you’re huge — you’ll want to stay maneuverable and not choose the bulkiest weapons just because you can swing them, shoot them, or snap them in twain.

Next week…

We’ll look at different types of weapons, along with their advantages and pitfalls. You’ll have a chance to pick the best weapons for your desired fighting style, your body type, and your fitness level.

What other points do weapons bring up? Do you think it’s silly to worry about the noise guns make at the expense of their portability and effectiveness? 







About Emmie Mears

Saving the world from brooding, one self-actualized vampire at a time.

Posted on August 8, 2012, in Contest Entries, Contests, EOW, WUS: Weapons Utilization Skills, ZAP and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Silence is essential if you don’t want the zombies hordes to find you…but, they are more effective. How about a machete?

  2. I love shooting with a bow. Can’t hit the broad side of a barn with it yet, but there’s time. 😉 Until then, I’ll have to get up close and personal with a katana since I kinda actually know how to use one.

    Fun post!

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