ZAP and the Great Big Killer Rabbit

English: Gold Star

English: Gold Star (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week hasn’t seen me at my best.

My husband and I recently finished watching Dollhouse. One of the lines the actives (dolls) say often throughout the show is this: “I try to be my best.”

And they do. The actives work out, eat well, do yoga, paint pictures, build tiny trees, and meditate. Of course, they’re effectively lobotomised, but for the capacity they have, they try to be their best.

With October here and the Run For Your Lives a mere three and a half weeks away, I’m wondering if I’ve been my best — or even if I’m trying to be my best. During times of stress and difficulty, how do we keep training for the coming zombies?

It’s not an uncommon problem. People often try and make a lifestyle change for spurts, and in between revert to habit. Habit, that nasty bloodsucking bunny from hell.

The attack of the Killer Rabbit

The lair of Habit. The attack of the Killer Rabbit (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Before you say, “I soiled me armour over a  bleeding bunny?” try and think of the last time you tried to lose weight. Did you get some of the weight off only to gain it right back? Or did it just stubbornly refuse to budge from your middle and thighs until you said, “Sod it. Gimme some chips?”

For me it’s both. I’ve gone through periods where I stick to a fitness routine like King Arthur to his trusty pair of coconuts. Other times, I burn myself out so much that pretty soon a pair of minstrels start running behind me and singing, “Brave Sir Emmie ran away. Bravely ran away, away! When training reared its ugly head, she bravely turned her tail and fled! Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Emmie!”

Training for the zombie apocalypse can be tough without erm, zombies.

When life starts happening — and you know how much life adores happening — it’s easy to forget that the zombies haven’t arrived yet. Your neighbours are still too human to shoot for any legitimate reason (and no, blasting their music at all hours of the night is largely not considered legitimate by legal entities), the bloke over there with a hacking cough is not about to die and reanimate, and most likely the lad who looks half-dead isn’t.

It makes the whole situation seem a wee bit less urgent.

Miyako Snoring

Threat level: Snore. Miyako Snoring (Photo credit: Takashi(aes256))

So how do you keep momentum when you’ve got a hundred problems/life situations/ingrown toenails/double rainbows that distract you from zombie-proofing yourself?

It’s not easy. But here are a few of my tips.

  • Keep at it. You’re not going to be perfect every day, and no one is asking you. Until the zoms show up anyway. Then one wrong move can get you dead. But cheer up! Till then, you’ve got a wee bit of wiggle room!
  • Focus on the positive. The fabulous ZAP Strategist Angie Richmond said something similar to me in a conversation earlier, and she’s right. (She’s good at that being right thing.) What positive changes has your ZAP training wrought in your body? I can run four miles straight, where before I could barely run one.
  • Make small, sustainable changes. Don’t try and overhaul your entire lifestyle in a day. But you can do things that make you better little by little. Switch to water at all meals. Add two servings of fruit or vegetables to your days. Do fifteen press-ups before you shower in the morning.
  • Challenge yourself. Create small goals that lead up to bigger goals. Make some of them beyond your current ability. Celebrate when you reach them. If you fail, keep trying. It’ll feel that much better when you get there.
  • Don’t look at fitness as having a finish line. Ultimately, being a stronger, fitter you will mean permanent shifts in how you live, how you eat, and how you move your body. So many people fail at their goals because they reach a goal weight and think they’ve won — and subsequently reverse all the progress they’ve made. I’m one of them. I’ve done it multiple times, and I know how frustrating it is to see those pounds slip back on.
Finish Line

NO Finish Line! (Photo credit: jayneandd)

The best thing you can do to ensure your preparation for the zombie apocalypse is to surround yourself with other ZAP Warriors. And the wonderful ZAP Warmaster Anna Meade and I (your friendly neighbourhood ZAP Battle Chieftain) are gearing up to help you do just that.

Until then, we’ve discussed something we could do for fun, to help stay motivated and help quantify the results you’re getting from your ZAP training.

Our bodies are our biggest weapons — so we’re asking you to show us your guns. About a month from now, I’ll ask you to send us a picture of you showing off your biceps. It’s optional, of course, and you can opt to be anonymous or show your face — but I hope you’ll join in. ZAP Warriors are strong, committed, and crazy enough to do this thing.

To help you prep, here’s something silly that I do to erm…polish up my guns.

I use 3-5 pound weights and turn on some bouncy music that I normally wouldn’t care to listen to. From there, weights in hand, I get my groove on in the privacy of my own home. Try some small jabs forward. Flies. Curls. Presses. All in time with the music. Not only will it tone your arms, but it’ll get your heart pumping as well. Not a dancer? Who cares? No one’s watching.

That’s just my two cents.

How do you polish your guns? What exercises help tone your arms for optimum zombie-smiting ability? 


About Emmie Mears

Saving the world from brooding, one self-actualized vampire at a time.

Posted on October 1, 2012, in CIS: Chance of Initial Survival, ZAP and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Well Emmie, you put a smile on my face today. Thank you for that! Stay strong, stay positive and keep kicking ass! Can’t wait for more #ZAP goodness.

  2. Reblogged this on Write Me Happy and commented:
    #ZAP goodness from her majesty Battle Chieftain Emmie!

  3. This was a great, fun article, from start to finish. You made me smile with a dozen different phrase choices and references.

  4. You made me smile, Emmie. you have a very witty style of writing. 🙂

    I started working out and eating healthy and lost over 145 lbs several years ago. Since then, I’ve gained about 15 of those pounds back, and lately, I am not eating as well as I should be. I also do mostly aerobic exercise and I know I need to do more weight training.

    So I am happy to join in with ZAP! 🙂

  5. I love your witty style of writing! 🙂

    I lost over 145 lbs several years ago, which included beginning an exercise regime and eating healthily. Recently, I have gained back about 15 of those pounds, and I have decided that, because I do mostly aerobic exercise, I need to add in more strength training exercise to my fitness regime. I have also not been eating as healthfully in recent months. Old habits are slowly creeping back in. The ZAP challenge is perfect for me!

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