Category Archives: Flash Fiction
So, the very cool J.J. Anderson featured me on his blog for my flash fiction writing! Go forth and check out his blog, including the parts that aren’t about me! But then come back. Because I love you and we gots shit to do together today.
Aside from the awesome factor of this gentleman carving out a chunk of his blog for yours truly, there was a moment of head scratching where I thought to myself, “Self,” I thought, “haven’t you written a bit more flash fiction than all that on your Fiction page?”
And then after another moment of head scratching, I thought, “Why, yes. You have.”
Part of it was J.J. attempting to track down a bit of Twitter flash fiction he’d seen and lost in the abyss of The Timeline, which happened to be about killing a chicken. I thought, “I just wrote a blog post about not doing that.” My second thought was, “And I wrote a piece of flash about doing EXACTLY that.” I sifted through the Engine of Search (that’d be Google) and found it. And posted it on my fiction page where it belongs. Which has really nothing to do with this post at all. This post is a whole other thing.
You’re welcome for that ramble.
This post is my ineligible contribution to last summer’s End of the World Flash Fiction Contest, which I ran in July. It was a highly successful and awesome contest, and I had fun creating my own entry just for the halibut. The prompt was, in essence, happenings that occur the day before the end of the world. My preference was for human snapshots, moments that show they don’t know what’s coming — but you, O Wise Omniscient Reader, you do. I hope I captured that essence in this flash fiction piece.
Additionally, this happens to be my 500th post. *nostalgic sniffle*
I thought about doing something extravagant, like tooting a kazoo on YouTube or painting my face with gold. But then I thought to myself, “Self,” I thought, “you’re a writer. Your 500th post could totes be a bit of your writing. You know, the fiction kind. As opposed to the other kind that normally pollutes people’s eyeballs with this blog.”
(I usually don’t use the word “totes.”)
So here you go, gentle viewers. Here’s my little snapshot of the day before the end of the world. I hope you enjoy. And happy 500th postiversary to me!
by Emmie Mears
I hear the chuffing growl of the engine just as the cherry of my cigarette hits the filter. It’s close, but I can’t see it. But I know what it is.
“Shit.” I stomp on the butt and kick it into the grass. “Shit.”
I come around the corner just as the tow truck lifts my battered Buick onto its back axle.
“This yours?” The driver’s mouth is pinched and puckered like a dog’s asshole, and she spits on the ground before I can get the image out of my head.
“I was just having a smoke. I gotta get back on the road. My kid graduates tomorrow.”
“I’ve already done the papers, Mister. Sorry.” Her hand is creased like her mouth, and it feels like leather when her skin brushes mine as she offers a business card.
“Look. Please? I haven’t seen my little girl in five years.” My fingers jab at the healed track marks at the crook of my left arm, and as the driver’s gaze follows, I pretend I’m slapping a mosquito. “I gotta be there.”
“Maybe you should’ve left earlier.”
I snort a laugh. “Yeah, maybe. Ended up losing my job anyway.”
Her jaw slackens as she takes in my appearance. I know what I look like. Boots like barely tanned leather. Jeans I had to scrape the cow shit off of before the laundromat owner let me wash them. White button down I got for two bucks at the Second Run Thrift Store and spilled mustard on at dinner. Yeah, I know what I look like. Burned out cowboy who took too many do-si-dos with needles.
“Where’re you headed?”
She nods. Hope tickles my chest.
“Yard’s open all night. You should hit the Texas border by four or so. It’s not the end of the world.”
It’s half past ten. “How much to get my car out?”
Could be worse. Could be five. This way, it’s fifty bucks less than I got to my name.
“Where’s the yard?”
“Five miles down Route 15. Turn right there,” she points. “And just keep walking. You’ll see it.”
“Can’t I hitch a ride with you?”
“It’s not allowed.” She slams the door of the tow truck and tips her hat at me. “Good luck getting to your girl.”
The sun’s long gone to sleep, but the Mississippi air smothers me before I make it a mile. My white shirt soaks through in minutes and clings to my chest.
It’s almost midnight before I make it to the yard. My stomach’s sounding like the tow truck, but I hand over my two fifty-three to the attendant, grab a Slim Jim and a Coke, and snatch my keys from his hand.
“Second row,” he says.
Little Lou’s graduation is at one. I’m gonna make it.
I crank the air as soon as the engine turns over, and it cools my skin and brightens my mood as I speed west.
I’ll be there.
Tomorrow I’ll make things right.
For those of you who don’t know, the lovely Ms. Cara Michaels hosts an awesome flash fiction contest on her blog each Monday called Menage Monday. You can see this week’s prompt here!
A month or so ago, I asked for input on what to post here — and I got several votes for fiction by yours truly. Hence, me sharing this. Disclaimer: I wrote this in the twenty minutes before I had to go to work. Be gentle.
Here’s my entry!
“I’ve got a feeling!”
Corporal Howard tensed under her slicker at the private’s singing. She turned to face him, rain drawing wet lines down her neck under her helmet. “Is there a reason you find that appropriate, Kent?”
The plastic whispered beneath the pit-pat of falling rain, and Howard felt her squad’s unease. They’d lost people in Iran. Kent hadn’t.
The flat, polished markers spread out around her as if poured from one central location.
“Come on, Corporal. Gotta stay cheery.” Kent hummed a few more bars.
“Corporal.” Lieutenant Armstrong broke formation. “This grave. It’s open.”
The ground sank into a depression, puddled with murky water.
“There’s more of them.” Armstrong gestured. “Eight o’clock. In a straight line from here.”
Howard’s throat tickled. She swallowed. Straight line.
Kent still sang. Howard shook her head, turning back to Armstrong.
A splash spun her around.
A leg protruded from one of the collapsed graves. Kent’s boot, vanishing into the muck.
“Go. Go now!” Howard barked.
The lines of rain froze to her skin.
She ran, the image of Kent’s boot in front of her eyes. Wasn’t the first time she’d found one of those in there.
Take a moment.
Pat yourself on the back. Or on the bum. Whichever is more convenient. Kiss your lover. Eat a biscuit or a nice scone. Pat a puppy.
You’ve survived the End of the World.
Almost a month ago, we brought forth the apocalypse. We had a Victor. We had a Survivor. And now the people have spoken.
No, seriously. The people spoke. And a lot of them were from the Philippines. (217 of them today alone!) Which is awesome, because I like to think of the End of the World as a sort of global moment of sheer panic, sort of like America’s Election Day in 2000. Or worse, 2004.
(The faster you begin nodding sagely and smoking a bubble pipe, the faster I’ll get to the goods.)
(Are we all nodding sagely and blowing bubbles now?)
Today, gentle viewers, you spoke up and selected your Chosen One. I am overjoyed to announce that the winner of the Chosen Badge is….
Many congratulations to the fabulous Afsaneh for coming out on top of the bracket! Afsaneh, I will contact you in the next 24 hours about your prizes — but for the joy of immediate gratification, snag your badge and wear it with pride!
I would like to thank everyone who participated in EOW. You have all been tremendous sports, and I have had a blast hosting this contest. It’s been a joy to see everyone coming together in voting madness *wipes away tear* — and I’m happy to end this almost-month-long journey by dubbing Ms. Afsaneh Khetrapal…the Chosen One.
Tell them how awesome they are. They deserve it.
Want MORE EOW writers? Look no further:
**This is everyone who is on Twitter.**
Here is the final bracket, EOW fans!
The final vote count as of 0100 EDT was Afsaneh 47, J.B. 42. I have seen a few more votes come in since voting ended, but just so there are no wars begun on account of this bracket, I wanted to post that here.
Thank you to everyone who voted and expressed their thoughts about these two awesome entries in the comments!